I just love these things! I should get a life!
A is for Age – 51
B is for Booze – dirty martini
C is for Career – CWDP: Certified Workforce Development Professional
D is for Dad’s name – Edmour
E is for Essential items to bring to a party – I keep getting asked to bring my blender, a 2 hp Vitamix
F is for Favorite songs -- hard to choose just one.... but Kedrov's Our Father; Rachmaninov's Rejoice O Virgin; O Lord, Save Thy People in Obikhod Tone 1 - they always make me cry.
G is for Goof off thing to do – surf the internet
H is for Hometown – Everett, MA and Lake Sunapee, NH
I is for Instrument you play – I used to play all the brass except slide trombone, particularly the french horn; I can play the piano and guitar a little
J is for Jam or Jelly you like – Apple Butter, Freedom Acres brand champagne mint, damson plum and raspberry. There is no other.
K is for Kids - Just one, but she's a fantastic one
L is for Living arrangement – My cheerful little house in Richmond Hill with my almost 17yo dd, one spoiled male shih tzu and our female princess. I mean, our female kitten!
M is for Mom’s name – Beatrice Elena Cieri Babineau
N is for Names of best friends – My best girlfriends, other than my cousins, are Ellen, Cindy, Joan and Carla.
O is for overnight hospital stays – 4 for when I was the patient, and probably about a dozen for when dd or mother or father were the patients
P is for Phobias – Birds flying around near me! Blech! Scary!
Q is for Quote you like – Isaiah 40:30-31
R is for Relationship that lasted longest – It used to be with my life-long friend, Keith, but he died a few years ago.... so now, other than family members and my ex, I think its with my dear friend Ellen
S is for Siblings - No blood brothers or sisters, but two cousins who are the sisters of my heart - Ethel and Roseanne. I love you guys!
T is for Texas , Ever been? – Oh yeah, I've been, and not just in an airport, either. My folks and I and dd drove through it on our way from CA to GA, stopping everywhere we felt like. I particularly liked San Antonio.
U is for Unique trait – Not unique, but a predominant trait I have is that I'm overly helpful. My family and friends understand that I'm just trying to help, but my enemies think I'm bossy and a know it all.
V is for Vegetable you love – Love 'em all! Esp brussels sprouts, artichokes, asparagus.....
W is for Worst traits – See unique trait
X - is for XRays you’ve had – I think pretty much all of me has been x-rayed at some point.
Y is for Yummy food you make – Most things I make are pretty yummy, though I occasionally have to toss something in the trash
Z is for Zodiac sign – I don't really follow this kind of stuff, but I've been told that I'm an atypical Virgo.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Christmas Meme
I got this from Lola and it looks like fun.
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Tough choice. I think egg nog at Christmastime, particularly if it has some brandy in it. On the other hand, I love hot chocolate.....
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I used to wrap everything carefully, but once you have a child, it seems pointless to do more than just wrap the presents. Now that she's almost grown, I do the bag thing.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White. Always white. I come from New England, and white lights make me think of icicles.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Yes, always!
5. When do you put your decorations up? Until a couple of years ago, the earlier the better. I always used to put the tree up on Thanksgiving weekend. But then my parents were failing and it was hard to get everything up. Last year was the first year without my folks, and I just couldn't get into the spirit, so I think we finally got the tree up about a week or so before Christmas. Our tree still isn't up - we were going to do it this afternoon, but both of us are sick. This week for sure, though!
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? For Christmas, I like to eat either chicken cooked in wine or roast pork or kibbee.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Most of my favorite childhood memories have to do with my mother, her sisters and my grandmother cooking for weeks prior to every holiday in that old green kitchen on B St.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember, I really don't. I don't remember that I was devastated or anything.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? As a child, the family would go to midnight mass, and stop at our house on the way home to wake me up so I could open my presents. Once I married, my husband didn't want to do that - he was used to Christmas morning presents. We moved to the other coast, and there was no family around, so it was easy to do the Christmas morning thing. I like it better.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I have enough ornaments for probably 4 or 5 trees! I love Christmas trees! For a few years I did theme trees, but I usually prefer the old favorite ornaments that have been passed down from my parents and that I have collected. Every year I purchase or make a few new ornaments to commemorate that year, and always get a new ornament or two to put away for dear daughter.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love the look of it! Hate shoveling it. Hate the cold.
12. Can you ice skate? Unfortunately, no. I am Uncle Conrads ONLY failure.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Yes, absolutely. Each year, I would receive a brand spanking new box of 64 Crayola crayons. What more could I have wanted?
14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Passing traditions on to my daughter.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Cannolis. Buche de Noel. Baqlawa.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? The christmas ornaments that I've collected.
17. What tops your tree? A star with an angel just below it.
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I really wish that presents were not part of Christmas.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O House of Ephratha; Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming; O Holy Night; Slava Vishny Bogu (sorry for the butchered spelling!)
20. Candy Canes… yuck or yum? Nice to look at, not to eat.
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Tough choice. I think egg nog at Christmastime, particularly if it has some brandy in it. On the other hand, I love hot chocolate.....
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? I used to wrap everything carefully, but once you have a child, it seems pointless to do more than just wrap the presents. Now that she's almost grown, I do the bag thing.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White. Always white. I come from New England, and white lights make me think of icicles.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Yes, always!
5. When do you put your decorations up? Until a couple of years ago, the earlier the better. I always used to put the tree up on Thanksgiving weekend. But then my parents were failing and it was hard to get everything up. Last year was the first year without my folks, and I just couldn't get into the spirit, so I think we finally got the tree up about a week or so before Christmas. Our tree still isn't up - we were going to do it this afternoon, but both of us are sick. This week for sure, though!
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? For Christmas, I like to eat either chicken cooked in wine or roast pork or kibbee.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Most of my favorite childhood memories have to do with my mother, her sisters and my grandmother cooking for weeks prior to every holiday in that old green kitchen on B St.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember, I really don't. I don't remember that I was devastated or anything.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? As a child, the family would go to midnight mass, and stop at our house on the way home to wake me up so I could open my presents. Once I married, my husband didn't want to do that - he was used to Christmas morning presents. We moved to the other coast, and there was no family around, so it was easy to do the Christmas morning thing. I like it better.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I have enough ornaments for probably 4 or 5 trees! I love Christmas trees! For a few years I did theme trees, but I usually prefer the old favorite ornaments that have been passed down from my parents and that I have collected. Every year I purchase or make a few new ornaments to commemorate that year, and always get a new ornament or two to put away for dear daughter.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love the look of it! Hate shoveling it. Hate the cold.
12. Can you ice skate? Unfortunately, no. I am Uncle Conrads ONLY failure.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Yes, absolutely. Each year, I would receive a brand spanking new box of 64 Crayola crayons. What more could I have wanted?
14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Passing traditions on to my daughter.
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Cannolis. Buche de Noel. Baqlawa.
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? The christmas ornaments that I've collected.
17. What tops your tree? A star with an angel just below it.
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I really wish that presents were not part of Christmas.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O House of Ephratha; Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming; O Holy Night; Slava Vishny Bogu (sorry for the butchered spelling!)
20. Candy Canes… yuck or yum? Nice to look at, not to eat.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
High School Nostalgia
1) What year was it? 1973
2) What were your three favorite bands? Well, these are who I was listening to: Mama's and the Papas, though they were over by then. Crosby, Stills and Nash. Carly Simon. Beatles. Bette Midler.
3) What was your favorite outfit? Jeans, very very tight hip hugger jeans, well washed, soft and faded. Very very tight tee shirt - any color - as long as it was tight. wide leather belt. orange workmen's boots. Red lipstick. My mother's persian lamb car coat from the 1940s.
4) What was up with your hair? Nothing. My hair does not now and did not then, do "up". It was long, straight and parted in the middle like every other lemming.
5) Who were your best friends? Keith Restaino, Donna Ricci, Frank Cavignano, Bob Gallant -- the band and AEPC kids mostly.
6) What did you do after school? If I wasn't practicing for band or the play, and if I wasn't harrassing polluters with the anti environmental pollution committee, then I was hanging out with my friends
7) Where did you work? Every summer I worked for my parents at Clearwater Inn, but during the school year, I worked on and off at Grants, a local five and dime.
8) Did you take the bus? No, I walked to school, most of the time alone. But I never walked home alone.
9) Who did you have a crush on? My really secret crush was Frank Cavignano, but I never let him know because he was hung up on Donna, and they were both my best friends.
10) Did you fight with your parents? A little - everyone does - but it wasn't major.
11) Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on? Tom Jones and Omar Sharif.
12) Did you smoke cigarettes? I smoked my first cigarette with my cousin Lynne. She taught me how when we were 15.
13) Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker? I was never nervous about my locker. I never lugged books in a backpack, either - no one used a backpack, that's how long ago it was! The first week of school each year, I would clip an extra copy of all my textbooks from the storeroom and keep them at home so I never had to carry any books. I'm not stoopid!
14) Did you have a "clique"?Ah, yes. Several. There was the band/AEPC click, and the drama clique, and the smart kids clique. I hung around with everyone - I had entrance into all the groups that I want to be in.
15) Admit it, were you popular? Yes.
16) Who did you want to be just like? My grandmother, Josephine Cieri.
17) What did you want to be when you grew up? An artist or musician and eventually, a mother.
2) What were your three favorite bands? Well, these are who I was listening to: Mama's and the Papas, though they were over by then. Crosby, Stills and Nash. Carly Simon. Beatles. Bette Midler.
3) What was your favorite outfit? Jeans, very very tight hip hugger jeans, well washed, soft and faded. Very very tight tee shirt - any color - as long as it was tight. wide leather belt. orange workmen's boots. Red lipstick. My mother's persian lamb car coat from the 1940s.
4) What was up with your hair? Nothing. My hair does not now and did not then, do "up". It was long, straight and parted in the middle like every other lemming.
5) Who were your best friends? Keith Restaino, Donna Ricci, Frank Cavignano, Bob Gallant -- the band and AEPC kids mostly.
6) What did you do after school? If I wasn't practicing for band or the play, and if I wasn't harrassing polluters with the anti environmental pollution committee, then I was hanging out with my friends
7) Where did you work? Every summer I worked for my parents at Clearwater Inn, but during the school year, I worked on and off at Grants, a local five and dime.
8) Did you take the bus? No, I walked to school, most of the time alone. But I never walked home alone.
9) Who did you have a crush on? My really secret crush was Frank Cavignano, but I never let him know because he was hung up on Donna, and they were both my best friends.
10) Did you fight with your parents? A little - everyone does - but it wasn't major.
11) Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on? Tom Jones and Omar Sharif.
12) Did you smoke cigarettes? I smoked my first cigarette with my cousin Lynne. She taught me how when we were 15.
13) Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker? I was never nervous about my locker. I never lugged books in a backpack, either - no one used a backpack, that's how long ago it was! The first week of school each year, I would clip an extra copy of all my textbooks from the storeroom and keep them at home so I never had to carry any books. I'm not stoopid!
14) Did you have a "clique"?Ah, yes. Several. There was the band/AEPC click, and the drama clique, and the smart kids clique. I hung around with everyone - I had entrance into all the groups that I want to be in.
15) Admit it, were you popular? Yes.
16) Who did you want to be just like? My grandmother, Josephine Cieri.
17) What did you want to be when you grew up? An artist or musician and eventually, a mother.
Envy
from Saint Cyprian's Writings:
You who are envious, let me tell you that however often you may seek for the opportunity of injuring him whom you hate, you will never be able to do him so much harm as you do harm to yourselves. He whom you would punish through the malice of your envy, may probably escape, but you will never be able to fly from yourselves. Wherever you may be your adversary is with you, your sin rankles within. It must be a self-willed evil to persecute a person whom God has taken under the protection of His grace; it becomes an irremedial sin to hate a man whom God wishes to make happy. Envy is as prolific as it is hurtful; it is the root of all evil, the source of endless disorder and misery, the cause of most sins that are committed. Envy gives birth to hatred and animosity. From it avarice is begotten, for it sees with an evil eye honors and emoluments heaped upon a stranger, and thinks that such honors should have been, by right, bestowed upon himself. From envy comes contempt of God, and of the salutary precepts of our Savior. The envious man is cruel, proud, unfaithful, impatient, and quarrelsome; and, what is strange, when this vice gains the mastery, he is no longer master of himself, and he is unable to correct his many faults. If the bond of peace is broken, if the rights of fraternal charity are violated, if truth is altered or disguised, it is often envy that hurries him on to crime. What happiness can such a man enjoy in this world? To be envious or jealous of another, because such a one is virtuous and happy, is to hate in him the graces and blessings God has showered down upon him. Does he not punish himself when he sees the success and welfare of others? Does he not draw down upon himself tortures from which there is no respite? Are not his thoughts, his mind, constantly on the rack? He pitilessly punishes himself, and, in his heart, performs the same cruel office which Divine Justice reserves for the chastisement of the greatest criminal.
You who are envious, let me tell you that however often you may seek for the opportunity of injuring him whom you hate, you will never be able to do him so much harm as you do harm to yourselves. He whom you would punish through the malice of your envy, may probably escape, but you will never be able to fly from yourselves. Wherever you may be your adversary is with you, your sin rankles within. It must be a self-willed evil to persecute a person whom God has taken under the protection of His grace; it becomes an irremedial sin to hate a man whom God wishes to make happy. Envy is as prolific as it is hurtful; it is the root of all evil, the source of endless disorder and misery, the cause of most sins that are committed. Envy gives birth to hatred and animosity. From it avarice is begotten, for it sees with an evil eye honors and emoluments heaped upon a stranger, and thinks that such honors should have been, by right, bestowed upon himself. From envy comes contempt of God, and of the salutary precepts of our Savior. The envious man is cruel, proud, unfaithful, impatient, and quarrelsome; and, what is strange, when this vice gains the mastery, he is no longer master of himself, and he is unable to correct his many faults. If the bond of peace is broken, if the rights of fraternal charity are violated, if truth is altered or disguised, it is often envy that hurries him on to crime. What happiness can such a man enjoy in this world? To be envious or jealous of another, because such a one is virtuous and happy, is to hate in him the graces and blessings God has showered down upon him. Does he not punish himself when he sees the success and welfare of others? Does he not draw down upon himself tortures from which there is no respite? Are not his thoughts, his mind, constantly on the rack? He pitilessly punishes himself, and, in his heart, performs the same cruel office which Divine Justice reserves for the chastisement of the greatest criminal.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Thanksgiving
I recently read Fr. Alexander Schmemann's journals. He delivered his last sermon on Thanksgiving Day, 1983 and here it is. It is moving and deep in its simplicity.
Thank You, O Lord!
Everyone capable of thanksgiving is capable of salvation and eternal joy.
Thank You, O Lord, for having accepted this Eucharist, which we offered to the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and which filled our hearts with the joy, peace and righteousness of the Holy Spirit.
Thank You, O Lord, for having revealed Yourself unto us and given us the foretaste of Your Kingdom.
Thank You, O Lord, for having united us to one another in serving You and Your Holy Church.
Thank You, O Lord, for having helped us to overcome all difficulties, tensions, passions, temptations and restored peace, mutual love and joy in sharing the communion of the Holy Spirit.
Thank You, O Lord, for the sufferings You bestowed upon us, for they are purifying us from selfishness and reminding us of the "one thing needed;" Your eternal Kingdom.
Thank You, O Lord, for having given us this country where we are free to Worship You.
Thank You, O Lord, for this school, where the name of God is proclaimed.
Thank You, O Lord, for our families: husbands, wives and, especially, children who teach us how to celebrate Your holy Name in joy, movement and holy noise.
Thank You, O Lord, for everyone and everything.
Great are You, O Lord, and marvelous are Your deeds, and no word is sufficient to celebrate Your miracles.
Lord, it is good to be here!
Amen.
Thank You, O Lord!
Everyone capable of thanksgiving is capable of salvation and eternal joy.
Thank You, O Lord, for having accepted this Eucharist, which we offered to the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and which filled our hearts with the joy, peace and righteousness of the Holy Spirit.
Thank You, O Lord, for having revealed Yourself unto us and given us the foretaste of Your Kingdom.
Thank You, O Lord, for having united us to one another in serving You and Your Holy Church.
Thank You, O Lord, for having helped us to overcome all difficulties, tensions, passions, temptations and restored peace, mutual love and joy in sharing the communion of the Holy Spirit.
Thank You, O Lord, for the sufferings You bestowed upon us, for they are purifying us from selfishness and reminding us of the "one thing needed;" Your eternal Kingdom.
Thank You, O Lord, for having given us this country where we are free to Worship You.
Thank You, O Lord, for this school, where the name of God is proclaimed.
Thank You, O Lord, for our families: husbands, wives and, especially, children who teach us how to celebrate Your holy Name in joy, movement and holy noise.
Thank You, O Lord, for everyone and everything.
Great are You, O Lord, and marvelous are Your deeds, and no word is sufficient to celebrate Your miracles.
Lord, it is good to be here!
Amen.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
One Word
Got this from Philippa.
One word, and only one word, so here goes!
Yourself: Contemplative
Your partner: None
Your hair: Gray
Your Mother: Strong
Your Father: True
Your Favorite Item: photos
Your dream last night: None
Your Favorite Drink: water
Your Dream Car: paid
Your Dream Home: large
The Room You Are In: Office
Your Ex: Ex
Your fear: Hell
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? Home
Who you hung out with last night: Priest
What You're Not: hypocritical
Muffins: cranberry
One of Your Wish List Items: boards
Time: Lacking
The Last Thing You Did: dinner
What You Are Wearing: jeans
Your favorite weather: brisk
Your Favorite Book: Psalter
Last thing you ate: Thanksgiving
Your Life: drama-less
Your mood: Hopeful
Your Best Friends: Precious
What are you thinking about right now: mother
Your car: Red
What are you doing at the moment: Blogging
Your summer: sweaty
Relationship status: divorced
What is on your tv: Nothing
What is the weather like: cool
When is the last time you laughed: today
How 'bout you?
One word, and only one word, so here goes!
Yourself: Contemplative
Your partner: None
Your hair: Gray
Your Mother: Strong
Your Father: True
Your Favorite Item: photos
Your dream last night: None
Your Favorite Drink: water
Your Dream Car: paid
Your Dream Home: large
The Room You Are In: Office
Your Ex: Ex
Your fear: Hell
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? Home
Who you hung out with last night: Priest
What You're Not: hypocritical
Muffins: cranberry
One of Your Wish List Items: boards
Time: Lacking
The Last Thing You Did: dinner
What You Are Wearing: jeans
Your favorite weather: brisk
Your Favorite Book: Psalter
Last thing you ate: Thanksgiving
Your Life: drama-less
Your mood: Hopeful
Your Best Friends: Precious
What are you thinking about right now: mother
Your car: Red
What are you doing at the moment: Blogging
Your summer: sweaty
Relationship status: divorced
What is on your tv: Nothing
What is the weather like: cool
When is the last time you laughed: today
How 'bout you?
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Thnigs I've Done
Things I've Done...
...are in italic type. Swiped this from Meg, who swiped it from Philippa.
What have you done? Or not, as the case may be?
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it!
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s nappy
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Drunk champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse.
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Scored a winning goal
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment (its a dimly remembered moment, but its there)
39. Visited all 5 continents
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
48. Midnight walk on the beach
49. Gone sky diving
50. Taken a train through Europe
51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
53. Milked a cow
54. Alphabetized your CDs
55. Sung karaoke
56. Lounged around in bed all day
57. Gone scuba diving
58. Kissed in the rain
59. Gone to a drive-in theatre
60. Started a business
61. Taken a martial arts class
62. Been in a movie
63. Crashed a party
64. Gone without food for 5 days
65. Gotten a tattoo
66. Got flowers for no reason
67. Performed on stage
68. Been to Las Vegas
69. Recorded music
70. Eaten shark
71. Buried one/both of your parents.
72. Been on a cruise ship
73. Spoken more than one language fluently (well, fluently for a 5 year old!)
74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
75. Walked a famous bridge
76. Had plastic surgery
77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
78. Wrote articles for a large publication.
77. Tried to lose weight seriously
79. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray.
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions (not, I hasten to add, by choice -- they all took place too far away)
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be “sick”
90. Swam in the Pacific Ocean
91. Saved someone’s life.
92. Fainted
93. Been in the room while someone is giving birth (and it wasn't even me!)
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Painted Desert
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Become a follower of Jesus Christ
...are in italic type. Swiped this from Meg, who swiped it from Philippa.
What have you done? Or not, as the case may be?
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you’ and meant it!
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s nappy
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Drunk champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse.
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Scored a winning goal
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment (its a dimly remembered moment, but its there)
39. Visited all 5 continents
40. Taken care of someone who was drunk
41. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
42. Watched wild whales
43. Stolen a sign
44. Backpacked
45. Taken a road-trip
46. Gone rock climbing
48. Midnight walk on the beach
49. Gone sky diving
50. Taken a train through Europe
51. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
52. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table, and had a meal with them
53. Milked a cow
54. Alphabetized your CDs
55. Sung karaoke
56. Lounged around in bed all day
57. Gone scuba diving
58. Kissed in the rain
59. Gone to a drive-in theatre
60. Started a business
61. Taken a martial arts class
62. Been in a movie
63. Crashed a party
64. Gone without food for 5 days
65. Gotten a tattoo
66. Got flowers for no reason
67. Performed on stage
68. Been to Las Vegas
69. Recorded music
70. Eaten shark
71. Buried one/both of your parents.
72. Been on a cruise ship
73. Spoken more than one language fluently (well, fluently for a 5 year old!)
74. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
75. Walked a famous bridge
76. Had plastic surgery
77. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
78. Wrote articles for a large publication.
77. Tried to lose weight seriously
79. Piloted an airplane
80. Petted a stingray.
81. Broken someone’s heart
82. Broken a bone
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Parasailed
86. Skipped all your school reunions (not, I hasten to add, by choice -- they all took place too far away)
87. Shaved your head
88. Caused a car accident
89. Pretended to be “sick”
90. Swam in the Pacific Ocean
91. Saved someone’s life.
92. Fainted
93. Been in the room while someone is giving birth (and it wasn't even me!)
94. Hitchhiked
95. Adopted a child
96. Been caught daydreaming
97. Been to the Painted Desert
98. Called off a wedding engagement
99. Donated your blood
100. Become a follower of Jesus Christ
Monday, October 09, 2006
Anger by St. John Chrysostom
Anger is a strong fire, consuming all things in its path; it wastes thebody and corrupts the soul, and renders a man base and odious to look upon. And if it were possible for the angry man to see himself at the time of his anger, he would not need any other admonition, for there is nothing less pleasing than an angry countenance. Anger is an intoxicant and more wretched than a demon.
St. John Chrysostom
St. John Chrysostom
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Becoming Myself
”As life goes on it becomes tiring to keep up the character you invented for yourself, and so you relapse into individuality and become more like yourself every day. This is sometimes disconcerting for those around you, but a great relief to the person concerned.” -Agatha Christie
I was struck when I read this quote by Agatha Christie. Its so true! I thought about how I have been decluttering my life and me this past year, and how the process has allowed me to be more authentic, more honest in my relationships, more able to focus on what is truly needful. Agatha is right, though - it *is* disconcerting to those around you. When you go through these kinds of changes, the pot gets stirred and the old ways of relating to others get redefined.
I've pruned away lots of dead wood and I'm hoping that lots of new growth will occur now, but as an Orthodox Christian, I understand Agatha's quote in terms of my belief as well. It does, indeed, become tiring to keep up the facade. Its like the plate spinner on the Ed Sullivan Show. when I was a kid. It was simply amazing, how many plates he could keep spinning on the end of a stick! And man, did he work - running back and forth, with not one second to take his eyes off the plates. By the end of his 5 minute spot, he was totally spent. That's how I've felt for a long time - too many plates to keep spinning, and no time for what is truly important and fruitful. Too many people in my life, all with their own agendas, sometimes working at cross purposes with each other and with me. No time to think. No time to figure out how I got from way over there to way over here. No time to organize and regroup. Its exhausting.
In some ways, now that I've begun decluttering, I am becoming more myself. More the me I understand myself to be. I love that. I hate it, too, mostly because the me that I know is so flawed. But shouldn't we all become more like Christ instead of ourselves? Isn't that the flaw in Agatha's reasoning? Of course this theosis would also be disconcerting, no question about that, because every time someone meets God and allows Him to shine some light into a corner of his soul, the rest looks even darker in comparison. I'm finding that the relief I feel is more about what *isn't* there any longer than about what *is* there. Surely that can't be "right"!
But I have to confess that putting down some of what I've been carrying is definitely a relief. It has freed up so much more than just time! My emotional life and my spiritual life have improved so much. I'm not as distracted during prayer as I was. I no longer second guess myself about everything, trying to figure out in advance how everything will "play". Not that I don't still do that to some extent - its good manners after all - but my major problems with that have disappeared. And I am GREATLY relieved. Last weekend, I had the energy and the time to spend with a dear friend who got some bad news about a tumor she has behind her eye. Had this happened just a few months ago, I would have been emotionally incapable of providing support to my friend, and I wouldn't have had the physical energy, either. Now, though, I was able to do what was needful last weekend and help my dear friend when she needed my help. Yay!
God is good!
I was struck when I read this quote by Agatha Christie. Its so true! I thought about how I have been decluttering my life and me this past year, and how the process has allowed me to be more authentic, more honest in my relationships, more able to focus on what is truly needful. Agatha is right, though - it *is* disconcerting to those around you. When you go through these kinds of changes, the pot gets stirred and the old ways of relating to others get redefined.
I've pruned away lots of dead wood and I'm hoping that lots of new growth will occur now, but as an Orthodox Christian, I understand Agatha's quote in terms of my belief as well. It does, indeed, become tiring to keep up the facade. Its like the plate spinner on the Ed Sullivan Show. when I was a kid. It was simply amazing, how many plates he could keep spinning on the end of a stick! And man, did he work - running back and forth, with not one second to take his eyes off the plates. By the end of his 5 minute spot, he was totally spent. That's how I've felt for a long time - too many plates to keep spinning, and no time for what is truly important and fruitful. Too many people in my life, all with their own agendas, sometimes working at cross purposes with each other and with me. No time to think. No time to figure out how I got from way over there to way over here. No time to organize and regroup. Its exhausting.
In some ways, now that I've begun decluttering, I am becoming more myself. More the me I understand myself to be. I love that. I hate it, too, mostly because the me that I know is so flawed. But shouldn't we all become more like Christ instead of ourselves? Isn't that the flaw in Agatha's reasoning? Of course this theosis would also be disconcerting, no question about that, because every time someone meets God and allows Him to shine some light into a corner of his soul, the rest looks even darker in comparison. I'm finding that the relief I feel is more about what *isn't* there any longer than about what *is* there. Surely that can't be "right"!
But I have to confess that putting down some of what I've been carrying is definitely a relief. It has freed up so much more than just time! My emotional life and my spiritual life have improved so much. I'm not as distracted during prayer as I was. I no longer second guess myself about everything, trying to figure out in advance how everything will "play". Not that I don't still do that to some extent - its good manners after all - but my major problems with that have disappeared. And I am GREATLY relieved. Last weekend, I had the energy and the time to spend with a dear friend who got some bad news about a tumor she has behind her eye. Had this happened just a few months ago, I would have been emotionally incapable of providing support to my friend, and I wouldn't have had the physical energy, either. Now, though, I was able to do what was needful last weekend and help my dear friend when she needed my help. Yay!
God is good!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
You Hurt My Feelings!
Once again, Fr. Joseph Huneycutt posted something that resonated deeply with me. I needed to read this, and read it with that detached self-understanding that I blogged about recently. I'm going to cut and paste this here so that I won't lose it and can read it again when I need reminding. This is Orthodixie's September 17th blog entry.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Remembrance of wrongs is the consummation of anger, the keeper of sins, hatred of righteousness, ruin of virtues, poison of the soul, worm of the mind, shame of prayer, cessation of supplication, estrangement of love, a nail stuck in the soul, pleasureless feeling cherished in the sweetness of bitterness, continuous sin, unsleeping transgression, hourly malice.– John Climacus, Ladder of Divine Ascent (LDA), p.87.
Whenever we become obsessed by some past event in which we perceive that we have been wronged, we give the devil ample opportunity to lead us toward greater temptation. We forget that our warfare is not with each other! We are to engage in spiritual warfare against the Enemy of our salvation and his willing hosts, the demons. When we remember wrongs we fall prey to the Father of Lies and engage in combat with our fellow brothers and sisters.
St John of Kronstadt writes:“The Devil cunningly induces us – instead of irritating us against himself – to notice our neighbors' sins, to make us spiteful and angry with others, and to awaken our contempt towards them, thus keeping us in enmity with our neighbors, and with the Lord God Himself. Therefore, we must despise the sins, the faults themselves, and not our brother who commits them at the Devil’s instigation, through infirmity and habit; we must pity him, and gently and lovingly instruct him, as one who forgets himself, or who is sick, as a prisoner and the slave of his sin. But our animosity, our anger towards the sinner only increases his sickness, oblivion, and spiritual bondage, instead of lessening them; besides this, it make us ourselves like madmen, or sick men, the prisoners of our own passions, and of the Devil, who is the author of them” [My Life in Christ (MLC), p.166].
The victory over this plague, remembrance of wrongs, is true repentance and a sincere struggle to love.
“The forgetting of wrongs is a sign of true repentance. But he who dwells on them and thinks that he is repenting is like a man who thinks he is running while he is really sleeping” [LDA, p.89].
“He who has obtained love has banished revenge; but he who nurses enmities stores up for himself untimely labours” [LDA, p.87].
How true! We can expend a great amount of energy in being, and remaining, mad at someone. Nursing enmities gives birth to sleeplessness, mental and emotional preoccupation, thoughts of evil, and worse. True love, God-pleasing love, bears the sweet fruits of repentance, forgiveness, compassion, and charity.
"True love willingly bears privations, troubles, and labours; endures offenses, humiliations, defeats, sins, and injustices, if they do not harm others; bears patiently and meekly the baseness and malice of others, leaving judgment to the all-seeing God, the righteous Judge, and praying that He may teach those who are darkened by senseless passions” [MLC, p.236] .
May we be vigilant in our repentance, our forgetting of wrongs and “hurt feelings.” Let us put aside our weapons used for mutual destruction and embrace the Love that is Christ in order to do God-pleasing warfare with the Enemy of our salvation.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Remembrance of wrongs is the consummation of anger, the keeper of sins, hatred of righteousness, ruin of virtues, poison of the soul, worm of the mind, shame of prayer, cessation of supplication, estrangement of love, a nail stuck in the soul, pleasureless feeling cherished in the sweetness of bitterness, continuous sin, unsleeping transgression, hourly malice.– John Climacus, Ladder of Divine Ascent (LDA), p.87.
Whenever we become obsessed by some past event in which we perceive that we have been wronged, we give the devil ample opportunity to lead us toward greater temptation. We forget that our warfare is not with each other! We are to engage in spiritual warfare against the Enemy of our salvation and his willing hosts, the demons. When we remember wrongs we fall prey to the Father of Lies and engage in combat with our fellow brothers and sisters.
St John of Kronstadt writes:“The Devil cunningly induces us – instead of irritating us against himself – to notice our neighbors' sins, to make us spiteful and angry with others, and to awaken our contempt towards them, thus keeping us in enmity with our neighbors, and with the Lord God Himself. Therefore, we must despise the sins, the faults themselves, and not our brother who commits them at the Devil’s instigation, through infirmity and habit; we must pity him, and gently and lovingly instruct him, as one who forgets himself, or who is sick, as a prisoner and the slave of his sin. But our animosity, our anger towards the sinner only increases his sickness, oblivion, and spiritual bondage, instead of lessening them; besides this, it make us ourselves like madmen, or sick men, the prisoners of our own passions, and of the Devil, who is the author of them” [My Life in Christ (MLC), p.166].
The victory over this plague, remembrance of wrongs, is true repentance and a sincere struggle to love.
“The forgetting of wrongs is a sign of true repentance. But he who dwells on them and thinks that he is repenting is like a man who thinks he is running while he is really sleeping” [LDA, p.89].
“He who has obtained love has banished revenge; but he who nurses enmities stores up for himself untimely labours” [LDA, p.87].
How true! We can expend a great amount of energy in being, and remaining, mad at someone. Nursing enmities gives birth to sleeplessness, mental and emotional preoccupation, thoughts of evil, and worse. True love, God-pleasing love, bears the sweet fruits of repentance, forgiveness, compassion, and charity.
"True love willingly bears privations, troubles, and labours; endures offenses, humiliations, defeats, sins, and injustices, if they do not harm others; bears patiently and meekly the baseness and malice of others, leaving judgment to the all-seeing God, the righteous Judge, and praying that He may teach those who are darkened by senseless passions” [MLC, p.236] .
May we be vigilant in our repentance, our forgetting of wrongs and “hurt feelings.” Let us put aside our weapons used for mutual destruction and embrace the Love that is Christ in order to do God-pleasing warfare with the Enemy of our salvation.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Theosis
"Christians should judge no one, neither an open harlot, nor sinners, nor dissolute people, but should look upon all with simplicity of soul and a pure eye. Purity of heart, indeed, consists in seeing sinful and weak men and having compassion for them and being merciful. "
"Practice self-observation. And if you want to benefit yourself and your fellow men, look at your own faults and not those of others. The Lord tells us: 'Judge not, that ye be not judged,' condemn not that ye be not condemned. And the Apostle Paul says: 'Who art thou that judgest another man's servant?'"
These words really hit me today. We all need to read these words with understanding and apply them to ourselves. Practicing self-observation is difficult. It requires us to put away our emotions, no matter how strong they are, step outside them and dispassionately considering the truth of our life. It requires us to seriously consider what those who love us tell us about ourselves. If what we believe to be true about ourselves constantly conflicts with what people who love us and want the best for us tell us, we owe it to ourselves to seriously consider the truth being told to us.
My spiritual father sometimes tells me things that are difficult to hear because he describes a person that I simply do not want to be. But, I owe it to myself, to him, and to those in my community, to step outside of my emotions and seriously consider what he tells me. When I was young, I couldn't do that, but as I matured, I became more able to do this, though there are times when it is very difficult. But I know that he has my best interests at heart, and that he loves me enough to tell me the truth. What a gift he is! I owe it to him to try to see things his way, instead of stubbornly clinging to my idealized ideas about myself. I've learned a lot by doing this.... I've been able to begin the process of decluttering myself, in a manner of speaking, and not just myself, but get rid of the useless or unprofitable flotsam and jetsam accumulated over 51 years of living.
Sometimes I think of what a sculptor friend told me years ago. He said that the work of art, the final sculpture, exists within the stone and has since the earth was created. Its his job, as the sculptor, to remove everything that is not the work of art. What is left is what God had intended the stone to be. Isn't this the perfect metaphor for the spiritual struggle we are all engaged in?
It difficult, this weeding away of that which is not necessary. Sometimes unprofitable things and habits and even people have to be chipped out.
But the end result will be beautiful.
Thanks to Orthodox Pilgrim http://www.xanga.com/OrthodoxPilgrim for the quotes.
Abba Macarius the Great.
"Practice self-observation. And if you want to benefit yourself and your fellow men, look at your own faults and not those of others. The Lord tells us: 'Judge not, that ye be not judged,' condemn not that ye be not condemned. And the Apostle Paul says: 'Who art thou that judgest another man's servant?'"
St. Arsenios of Paros, Modern Orthodox Saints, Vol. 6
These words really hit me today. We all need to read these words with understanding and apply them to ourselves. Practicing self-observation is difficult. It requires us to put away our emotions, no matter how strong they are, step outside them and dispassionately considering the truth of our life. It requires us to seriously consider what those who love us tell us about ourselves. If what we believe to be true about ourselves constantly conflicts with what people who love us and want the best for us tell us, we owe it to ourselves to seriously consider the truth being told to us.
My spiritual father sometimes tells me things that are difficult to hear because he describes a person that I simply do not want to be. But, I owe it to myself, to him, and to those in my community, to step outside of my emotions and seriously consider what he tells me. When I was young, I couldn't do that, but as I matured, I became more able to do this, though there are times when it is very difficult. But I know that he has my best interests at heart, and that he loves me enough to tell me the truth. What a gift he is! I owe it to him to try to see things his way, instead of stubbornly clinging to my idealized ideas about myself. I've learned a lot by doing this.... I've been able to begin the process of decluttering myself, in a manner of speaking, and not just myself, but get rid of the useless or unprofitable flotsam and jetsam accumulated over 51 years of living.
Sometimes I think of what a sculptor friend told me years ago. He said that the work of art, the final sculpture, exists within the stone and has since the earth was created. Its his job, as the sculptor, to remove everything that is not the work of art. What is left is what God had intended the stone to be. Isn't this the perfect metaphor for the spiritual struggle we are all engaged in?
It difficult, this weeding away of that which is not necessary. Sometimes unprofitable things and habits and even people have to be chipped out.
But the end result will be beautiful.
Thanks to Orthodox Pilgrim http://www.xanga.com/OrthodoxPilgrim for the quotes.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
The trap of "Romantic Orthodoxy"
Interesting & thought-provoking posting in Rod Dreher's blog found at:
(http://www.beliefnet.com/blogs/crunchycon/2006/08/trap-of-romantic-orthodoxy.html )
I just finished reading Fr. Schmemman's journal, and this quote can be found on page 276. Rod (and Fr. Alexander) give much food for thought. Here is Rod's post:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The trap of "Romantic Orthodoxy"
In a journal entry from Nov. 1, 1980, Father Alexander Schmemann,
the renowned Orthodox priest, discerned a problem with what he
called "Romantic Orthodoxy", which can be distinguished by the
following characteristics:
"+ nominalism (e.g., non-existing Patriarchates)
+ blind liturgical conservatism
+ cult of the past
+ theological preoccupation almost exclusively with the Fathers
+ "apocalypticism"
+ hatred for the contemporary world (not for this world in general)
+ emotionalism
+ cult of externals (beard, cassocks, prayer ropes, style)"
"In other words," wrote Schmemann, "it includes all that makes
Orthodoxy weak, that makes it into an internal ghetto (and not an
appeal, a fight, life). Romanticism, in life and in culture, is, above all,
a dream, the primacy of the heart over discernment and truth. It pushes
reality away for the sake of an imagined reality; it is belief in illusions."
Father Schmemann, of course, was talking specifically about the
Orthodox church, but there is wisdom there for all of us who hold on
to small-o orthodox religion, in whatever tradition. My experience is
almost wholly limited to the Catholic Church, but there are some good
general principles in this for the small-o orthodox to watch out for. We
live in a time of such chaos within the churches that it's easy for the
orthodox to substitute slavish adherence to ritual and Henny-Pennyism
(i.e., "The sky is falling!") for authentic spirituality. For me -- and this
is something I would have added to Fr. Schmemann's list -- a particular
temptation has been to get caught up in Church politics, and to allow
"churchiness" to occupy much of the attention that ought to have been
going to advancing on the path to holiness. There was a time not all
that long ago when I imagined that being preoccupied with the
advances and retreats of the forces of Catholic orthodoxy was the same
thing as being and becoming a good Catholic Christian.
The "cult of the past" is a particular temptation too for us tradition-
minded Christians. It's very easy to look around at the loosey-goosey
religion promulgated by Father Frootloop and Sister Stretchpants (and
their dopplegangers in other churches and traditions) and to idealize
the 1950s, when the Church was rock-solid. But that solidity must
have been a Potemkin village at some level, or things wouldn't have
fallen apart so quickly in the 1960s, which is the decade we love
(appropriately, I hasten to add) to demonize. Could it be that in that
decade, very large numbers of people were going through the motions,
but the living faith itself never touched their hearts?
A few years ago I was in the Netherlands talking with a professor
about the collapse of the Church and cultural conservatism in Holland.
He said that when the Second World War ended, people returned to the
social forms that had existed prior to the war. But those forms had
been hollowed out by the trauma of the war. When the first gusts from
the counterculture blew through the Netherlands in the early 1960s, it
all went down like a house of cards. I wonder, then, if the Dutch
churches in the immediate postwar period were caught up in a "cult of
externals," mistaking the form of corporate worship and personal piety
for actual faith -- and so they didn't see the internal weakness
developing.
(http://www.beliefne
I just finished reading Fr. Schmemman's journal, and this quote can be found on page 276. Rod (and Fr. Alexander) give much food for thought. Here is Rod's post:
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The trap of "Romantic Orthodoxy"
In a journal entry from Nov. 1, 1980, Father Alexander Schmemann,
the renowned Orthodox priest, discerned a problem with what he
called "Romantic Orthodoxy", which can be distinguished by the
following characteristics:
"+ nominalism (e.g., non-existing Patriarchates)
+ blind liturgical conservatism
+ cult of the past
+ theological preoccupation almost exclusively with the Fathers
+ "apocalypticism"
+ hatred for the contemporary world (not for this world in general)
+ emotionalism
+ cult of externals (beard, cassocks, prayer ropes, style)"
"In other words," wrote Schmemann, "it includes all that makes
Orthodoxy weak, that makes it into an internal ghetto (and not an
appeal, a fight, life). Romanticism, in life and in culture, is, above all,
a dream, the primacy of the heart over discernment and truth. It pushes
reality away for the sake of an imagined reality; it is belief in illusions."
Father Schmemann, of course, was talking specifically about the
Orthodox church, but there is wisdom there for all of us who hold on
to small-o orthodox religion, in whatever tradition. My experience is
almost wholly limited to the Catholic Church, but there are some good
general principles in this for the small-o orthodox to watch out for. We
live in a time of such chaos within the churches that it's easy for the
orthodox to substitute slavish adherence to ritual and Henny-Pennyism
(i.e., "The sky is falling!") for authentic spirituality. For me -- and this
is something I would have added to Fr. Schmemann's list -- a particular
temptation has been to get caught up in Church politics, and to allow
"churchiness" to occupy much of the attention that ought to have been
going to advancing on the path to holiness. There was a time not all
that long ago when I imagined that being preoccupied with the
advances and retreats of the forces of Catholic orthodoxy was the same
thing as being and becoming a good Catholic Christian.
The "cult of the past" is a particular temptation too for us tradition-
minded Christians. It's very easy to look around at the loosey-goosey
religion promulgated by Father Frootloop and Sister Stretchpants (and
their dopplegangers in other churches and traditions) and to idealize
the 1950s, when the Church was rock-solid. But that solidity must
have been a Potemkin village at some level, or things wouldn't have
fallen apart so quickly in the 1960s, which is the decade we love
(appropriately, I hasten to add) to demonize. Could it be that in that
decade, very large numbers of people were going through the motions,
but the living faith itself never touched their hearts?
A few years ago I was in the Netherlands talking with a professor
about the collapse of the Church and cultural conservatism in Holland.
He said that when the Second World War ended, people returned to the
social forms that had existed prior to the war. But those forms had
been hollowed out by the trauma of the war. When the first gusts from
the counterculture blew through the Netherlands in the early 1960s, it
all went down like a house of cards. I wonder, then, if the Dutch
churches in the immediate postwar period were caught up in a "cult of
externals," mistaking the form of corporate worship and personal piety
for actual faith -- and so they didn't see the internal weakness
developing.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
It Isn't the Church ... It's You!
It Isn't the Church ... It's You!
If you want to have the kind of a church
Like the kind of a church you like,
You needn't slip your clothes in a grip
And start on a long, long hike.
You'll only find what you left behind,
For there's nothing really new.
It's a knock at yourself when you knock your church;
It isn't the church -- it's you.
When everything seems to be going wrong,
And trouble seems everywhere brewing;
When prayer meeting, Young People's meeting, and all,
Seem simmering slowly -- stewing,
Just take a look at yourself and say,
"What's the use in being blue?"
Are you doing your "bit" to make things "hit"?
It isn't the church -- it's you.
It's really strange sometimes, don't you know,
That things go as well as they do,
When we think of the little -- the very small mite --
We add to the work of the few.
We sit, and stand around, and complain of what's done,
And do very little but fuss.
Are we bearing our share of the burdens to bear?
It isn't the church -- it's us.
So, if you want to have the kind of a church
Like the kind of a church you like,
Put off your guile, and put on your best smile,
And hike, my brother, just hike,
To the work in hand that has to be done --
The work of saving the few.
It isn't the church that is wrong, my boy;
It isn't the church -- it's you.
-- Unknown
Taken from The Best Loved Poems of the American People, pp.93-94.
I got this from Fr. Joseph Huneycutt's blog: http://southern-orthodoxy.blogspot.com/
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Dear Daughter's I Am From Poem
I am from pasta and lentils, from Barilla and ballet,
I am from B Street, crowded, loving, scented with old wine and new detergent.
I am from the desert, from RV trips that never ended.
I am from common sense and strength, from my mother and her mother and her mother.
I am from tears of joy and sadness, from gardens failed and successful.
I am from "she reminds me of her mother" and my grandmother's hands.
I am from long hours standing in church, from incense, from wheat, wine and oil.
I am from Cape Cod, from granola and the one bite rule.
From watching war movies and trying to knit, from the lentil year and Sarah Morton's Day.
I am from my grandparents' desk, walls of photos, jewelry boxes filled with love and the occasional gem.
From an old steel box and recipes in my grandmother's shaky hand and my mother's elegant one.
I am from a line of women who are always together, even when apart, and the line will continue through me, my cousins and shared food.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I am from.....
I am from Grammies blue gravy pitcher, from maple sugar candy, from hand knitted sweaters and the old Singer sewing machine.
I am from the little house and little street; from quiet libraries and bustling kitchens; from Sunapee, cool, clear and deep.
I am from tomatoes, gardenias, cultured cities, mountains and lakes.
I am from seven fishes on Christmas Eve, from roaring fires and roaring laughter, from Josie and Bea and Judith.
I am from big noses and big hearts, from hard work and perseverance, from strength of character and adventure.
From "I love you" and "grosse fess" and "clean your plate".
I am from morning mass and rosaries worn smooth with use, from Pater noster qui es in coelis and Notre Père qui es aux cieux and Otche nash izhe ye see na nyebyesekh.
I am from New England, from Boston and Lake Sunapee; from Italy and Acadie, from gnocchi and poutine rapee.
From Grammies lost glasses, the old Garland stove, the dock floating away with the ice floes. From Memiere's silent laughter and harmonicas, from whalers and sea captains, plumbers and wanderlust, from Mexico and New Hampshire, from sea to sea.
I am from the memories of my heart, from polaroids and slides, from earrings and knitting needles, from shadow boxes of photos, from love expressed around the dinner table, from wine and peas and raspberry jam.
I am from paint brushes and baritones, french horns and icons, from singing and dancing and laughing, from endless support and love and pride.
I am from generations of strong women, holding hands, stretching backwards and forwards throughout time.
I am from the little house and little street; from quiet libraries and bustling kitchens; from Sunapee, cool, clear and deep.
I am from tomatoes, gardenias, cultured cities, mountains and lakes.
I am from seven fishes on Christmas Eve, from roaring fires and roaring laughter, from Josie and Bea and Judith.
I am from big noses and big hearts, from hard work and perseverance, from strength of character and adventure.
From "I love you" and "grosse fess" and "clean your plate".
I am from morning mass and rosaries worn smooth with use, from Pater noster qui es in coelis and Notre Père qui es aux cieux and Otche nash izhe ye see na nyebyesekh.
I am from New England, from Boston and Lake Sunapee; from Italy and Acadie, from gnocchi and poutine rapee.
From Grammies lost glasses, the old Garland stove, the dock floating away with the ice floes. From Memiere's silent laughter and harmonicas, from whalers and sea captains, plumbers and wanderlust, from Mexico and New Hampshire, from sea to sea.
I am from the memories of my heart, from polaroids and slides, from earrings and knitting needles, from shadow boxes of photos, from love expressed around the dinner table, from wine and peas and raspberry jam.
I am from paint brushes and baritones, french horns and icons, from singing and dancing and laughing, from endless support and love and pride.
I am from generations of strong women, holding hands, stretching backwards and forwards throughout time.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Courage Quote
I read this today.
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". -Anonymous
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". -Anonymous
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
What I read this morning
A Prayer of Saint Isaac of Nineveh
Do you wish to commune with God in your mind? Strive to be
merciful... One should first of all begin to be merciful in the
measure that our heavenly Father is merciful.
The purpose of prayer is for us to acquire love for God, for in
prayer can be discovered all sorts of reasons for loving God.
Love of God proceeds from conversing with Him; this conversation of
prayer comes about through stillness, and stillness comes with the
stripping away of the self.
Faith in Christ is living, noetic Light.
A monk who with the eyes of his intellect gazes intently into his
heart while praying will quickly be deemed worthy of mercy.
The Light of Jesus is noetic Light, and blessed is the soul which is
accounted worthy to see it!
Do you wish to commune with God in your mind? Strive to be
merciful... One should first of all begin to be merciful in the
measure that our heavenly Father is merciful.
The purpose of prayer is for us to acquire love for God, for in
prayer can be discovered all sorts of reasons for loving God.
Love of God proceeds from conversing with Him; this conversation of
prayer comes about through stillness, and stillness comes with the
stripping away of the self.
Faith in Christ is living, noetic Light.
A monk who with the eyes of his intellect gazes intently into his
heart while praying will quickly be deemed worthy of mercy.
The Light of Jesus is noetic Light, and blessed is the soul which is
accounted worthy to see it!
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Am I a Control Freak?
Interesting question. My first thought would be to say no, I'm not a control freak. I'm in control most of the time, but not obsessively so, and I seldom seek control or power positions. I know one or two people would disagree about that, but they would be wrong. On the other hand, I do often find myself pushed into leadership positions, which I willingly (willingly, not gladly) take on, because I know that I am a competent leader and manager, and that what I commit to gets done. So when I saw this silly little quiz, I thought the results would be interesting, but instead, they are pretty much what I expected.
| You Are 40% Control Freak |
 You have achieved the perfect balance of control and letting go. You tend to roll with whatever life brings, but you never get complacent. |
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Training Readers
Late last night, one of the catechumens in our parish asked what Compline is. I hesitated about answering the question because it wasn't directed to me, but I knew that she is a person who needs "meat", so I went ahead and answered it.
As I was writing, and then rewriting for clarity, I realized that the information I was giving her is really the sort of information that Readers need. We don't seem to do very well with training Readers here in the US. I don't know what they do in Russia or elsewhere, but here, there is really no emphasis on training readers prior to tonsuring. Usually, men get pressed into service at Vespers or another service, and learn by doing. This is very, very valuable, but its not the whole story.
It seems to me that there are two "tracks" -- there are the readers who do just that, read whatever is put in front of them whenever they are told to read. These readers need only to concentrate on producing clearly understood chanting. These may be men, or women, or even children. This is is what most readers do.
The second track requires more in-depth training for future choir directors or men who may be tonsured in the future. These people need more than just vocalizing, pitch matching and fluent reading, they need to begin building up foundational liturgical knowledge. This is what excites me about the Readers Class that my pastor wants me to teach, and I know that by researching and teaching this, I will only improve my own understanding and knowledge. Its a win-win situation!
I also see the need to teach the choir how to read music and sight singing, perhaps using solfege with a moveable do, which is how I pitch the choir anyway, as well as teaching them basic voice placement and production and breathing. I've got a young teen in my choir with a very sweet voice and some musical talent that I would like to help her develop. I think she could grow into choir directing in the future. Also, for many personal reasons, I believe that learning more about music, and directing, would be something very positive for her. I've been thinking about this for a long time, actually. Her father and I spoke at length about her love of music and other things; he agreed 100% with me and gave me his blessing to push her if necessary. If I were to also teach the rudiments of music reading and vocal production at the Reader's Class, then perhaps I could train a Canonarch or two. This would allow us to do antiphonal chanting/singing in our new church, which will be such a joyous sound!!!! It should also be very engaging for the parishioners - I mean, who can go on autopilot and zone out when the verses are joyously bouncing from side to side of the nave??!?
As I was formulating my very brief explanation of Compline last night, I realized that I really need to spend some time on the Readers Services before I begin the Readers Training Class. It would be useful for potential readers to receive outlines of the various services and some understanding of the structure of the various services as well as their historical and cyclical context - especially the future tonsured readers and choir directors.
So, as I was writing, tried to put my answer in context. I'm posting it here so that I don't lose it and can flesh it out more for the Readers Class.
I guess its really a good thing that I'll be unemployed soon, hopefully for a short while, because that gives me time to work all this out and prepare lessons and handouts etc., as well as to work on my iconography.
If only I could pay my bills by doing the things I love -- like preparing this class, teaching it, iconography, etc....
=============================
As the Choir Director and the host for compline this week, I'll take your question on.
We know from the Acts of the Apostles that the early followers of Jesus prayed at certain hours of the day and night. This ancient Jewish custom evolved into the daily cycle of prayer of the Church. This daily cycle of prayer marks the passage of each day and occurs at seven set times, assisting us in fulfilling our Lord's command to pray always and to keep watch with the Church. The appointed times are basically every three hours, beginning at six in the morning and ending around midnight. Each service is called an "hour" no matter how long or short it is. All the hours together keep us engaged constantly in the work of glorifying God.
We follow the ancient Jewish custom of marking the day from sunset to sunset, so the day begins with Vespers at sunset (commonly held around 6 pm); then Compline (the after-dinner prayer) around 9 pm; Nocturns or the Midnight Hour; Matins and the First Hour (the longest service of the day), the Third, Sixth and Ninth Hours (corresponding to nine a.m., noon and three p.m.)
Compline was originally a strictly monastic service, prayed by individual monks alone in their cells, but over the centuries, it took on a communal, public character and evolved into the form we see today. Just like Vespers, there is a lesser form and a greater form, served with or without a priest. I won't confuse you with all the details of the differences between the two - an entire book could be written, and I am no expert. Here at St. Mary's, we pray Little Compline as a Reader's Service (meaning, without a priest) on the Saturdays when Fr. James is in Helena. We've been doing this for a couple of years now.
The basic structure of Little Reader's Compline goes like this: It begins with the Trisagion, or Thrice-Holy prayers; Psalms 50, 69, 142, the Doxology, the Creed, a Canon if specified, the vesperal Stichera of the day, the Thrice-Holy again, ending with the special prayers designated for the day of the week and the dismissal.
Compline will be at 6 pm at my house on Saturday this time around. You are certainly welcome to come. Give me a call on Saturday and let me know if you are coming, and I will give you directions.
As I was writing, and then rewriting for clarity, I realized that the information I was giving her is really the sort of information that Readers need. We don't seem to do very well with training Readers here in the US. I don't know what they do in Russia or elsewhere, but here, there is really no emphasis on training readers prior to tonsuring. Usually, men get pressed into service at Vespers or another service, and learn by doing. This is very, very valuable, but its not the whole story.
It seems to me that there are two "tracks" -- there are the readers who do just that, read whatever is put in front of them whenever they are told to read. These readers need only to concentrate on producing clearly understood chanting. These may be men, or women, or even children. This is is what most readers do.
The second track requires more in-depth training for future choir directors or men who may be tonsured in the future. These people need more than just vocalizing, pitch matching and fluent reading, they need to begin building up foundational liturgical knowledge. This is what excites me about the Readers Class that my pastor wants me to teach, and I know that by researching and teaching this, I will only improve my own understanding and knowledge. Its a win-win situation!
I also see the need to teach the choir how to read music and sight singing, perhaps using solfege with a moveable do, which is how I pitch the choir anyway, as well as teaching them basic voice placement and production and breathing. I've got a young teen in my choir with a very sweet voice and some musical talent that I would like to help her develop. I think she could grow into choir directing in the future. Also, for many personal reasons, I believe that learning more about music, and directing, would be something very positive for her. I've been thinking about this for a long time, actually. Her father and I spoke at length about her love of music and other things; he agreed 100% with me and gave me his blessing to push her if necessary. If I were to also teach the rudiments of music reading and vocal production at the Reader's Class, then perhaps I could train a Canonarch or two. This would allow us to do antiphonal chanting/singing in our new church, which will be such a joyous sound!!!! It should also be very engaging for the parishioners - I mean, who can go on autopilot and zone out when the verses are joyously bouncing from side to side of the nave??!?
As I was formulating my very brief explanation of Compline last night, I realized that I really need to spend some time on the Readers Services before I begin the Readers Training Class. It would be useful for potential readers to receive outlines of the various services and some understanding of the structure of the various services as well as their historical and cyclical context - especially the future tonsured readers and choir directors.
So, as I was writing, tried to put my answer in context. I'm posting it here so that I don't lose it and can flesh it out more for the Readers Class.
I guess its really a good thing that I'll be unemployed soon, hopefully for a short while, because that gives me time to work all this out and prepare lessons and handouts etc., as well as to work on my iconography.
If only I could pay my bills by doing the things I love -- like preparing this class, teaching it, iconography, etc....
=============================
As the Choir Director and the host for compline this week, I'll take your question on.
We know from the Acts of the Apostles that the early followers of Jesus prayed at certain hours of the day and night. This ancient Jewish custom evolved into the daily cycle of prayer of the Church. This daily cycle of prayer marks the passage of each day and occurs at seven set times, assisting us in fulfilling our Lord's command to pray always and to keep watch with the Church. The appointed times are basically every three hours, beginning at six in the morning and ending around midnight. Each service is called an "hour" no matter how long or short it is. All the hours together keep us engaged constantly in the work of glorifying God.
We follow the ancient Jewish custom of marking the day from sunset to sunset, so the day begins with Vespers at sunset (commonly held around 6 pm); then Compline (the after-dinner prayer) around 9 pm; Nocturns or the Midnight Hour; Matins and the First Hour (the longest service of the day), the Third, Sixth and Ninth Hours (corresponding to nine a.m., noon and three p.m.)
Compline was originally a strictly monastic service, prayed by individual monks alone in their cells, but over the centuries, it took on a communal, public character and evolved into the form we see today. Just like Vespers, there is a lesser form and a greater form, served with or without a priest. I won't confuse you with all the details of the differences between the two - an entire book could be written, and I am no expert. Here at St. Mary's, we pray Little Compline as a Reader's Service (meaning, without a priest) on the Saturdays when Fr. James is in Helena. We've been doing this for a couple of years now.
The basic structure of Little Reader's Compline goes like this: It begins with the Trisagion, or Thrice-Holy prayers; Psalms 50, 69, 142, the Doxology, the Creed, a Canon if specified, the vesperal Stichera of the day, the Thrice-Holy again, ending with the special prayers designated for the day of the week and the dismissal.
Compline will be at 6 pm at my house on Saturday this time around. You are certainly welcome to come. Give me a call on Saturday and let me know if you are coming, and I will give you directions.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Worry-Wort or Pollyanna?
I am really, really worried.
First of all, I'm worried for E's health. She hasn't been well since last January when she caught the GI flu that was going around. She vomited violently for a couple of days in January, and was completely wiped out by it. It took a long time for her to regain any energy at all. Since then, she has had ongoing stomach problems. She tells me that she wakes up nauseous most mornings, but it goes away in a couple of hours. I've told her that maybe its because she's got an upset stomach and she should eat some crackers when she first wakes up, just like for morning sickness, but I don't think that she is taking my advice, at least not regularly. Water tastes bad to her now, so she drinks juice, milk or soy milk. She used to LOVE to have a glass of wine, but now, the mere thought of it is sickening. She doesn't even drink the zapivka at church any more. I can cook with wine and that doesn't affect her, but its weird to pull out a bottle of wine and not have her begging for just a taste. She spends a day in bed being lightheaded and nauseous each month. She doesn't actually vomit then, but she is sick enough that she will have to stay home from school when this happens. Over the last month or so, she's vomited a lot. For her, at least, its a lot. I stayed home from church on Sunday twice in June because she was vomiting, or had vomited during the night. Last Sunday, she suddenly had to vomit at trapeza, barely made it to the ladies room, and then we quickly left. She vomited all the way home, and continued vomiting the rest of the day, and was nauseous on Monday and Tuesday as well. By Wednesday, 7/5, she felt better and was fine until yesterday, Sunday. Yesterday, she was fine until the evening when she vomited again. She doesn't have a fever with all of this. She and I eat almost exactly the same food, so its not food poisoning over and over. She might have some kind of food sensitivity or allergy, so I'm having her keep a food diary for a week or two. I think there may be a psycho-emotional layer to this, since whenever she gets really upset or stressed, she gets an upset stomach. But then again, last night she told me that she doesn't feel particularly stressed right now.
What I'm really worried about is whether the cancer is back or not. If its not stress and its not food allergies, then it must be something more serious. If not cancer, then maybe irritable bowel, Crohns, colitis, gastritis.... pancreatitis has nausea as a sign, I think. I can't remember what else --- its been a long time since I did medical transcription.
I'm worried about her health. I have to make an appt for her to get checked, but not until she gets a week or two of a food diary written down.There is definitely something wrong, though. I pray that its nothing serious, and especially that its not a recurrence of cancer. I'm scared.
My second major worry is that I won't find a job here in low-paying Savannah that pays enough for me to live. I really don't want to move and leave my cheerful little house and the support system I have here, but I would do it for the right job. The funding for my program is ending for sure at the end of August, and I've sent out about 15 resumes in response to known openings, without even a nibble. I'm starting to think about ways to become self employed at this time because well-paying middle-management positions in Savannah are pretty hard to find. I don't want to leave this area because we've been through too much upheaval in our lives as it is, but I would for the right job. I don't think my back will allow me to become a personal chef, so I'll have to figure out something else. I'm very worried.
Deep in my heart, I know that things will work out eventually, because they always do. But still, I'm worried. And I'm tired of always carrying the load. It would be so wonderful to have someone to help carry some of this, but that is not to be. I've never had anyone to help me, so why would someone come along right now? I'll get through this just like I've gotten through everything else - by putting one foot in front of the other and trying to do the right thing. I need prayer. I need to pray for myself. I never do that, but I should. I need to redouble my prayers for my daughter, too. I'm just, I don't know, I'm upset and worried about everything. At least my relationships with others seem to be ok and I don't have to spend my precious peace of mind on anything other than my daughter and my job search. *THAT* is a blessing!
See, there's always SOMETHING!
First of all, I'm worried for E's health. She hasn't been well since last January when she caught the GI flu that was going around. She vomited violently for a couple of days in January, and was completely wiped out by it. It took a long time for her to regain any energy at all. Since then, she has had ongoing stomach problems. She tells me that she wakes up nauseous most mornings, but it goes away in a couple of hours. I've told her that maybe its because she's got an upset stomach and she should eat some crackers when she first wakes up, just like for morning sickness, but I don't think that she is taking my advice, at least not regularly. Water tastes bad to her now, so she drinks juice, milk or soy milk. She used to LOVE to have a glass of wine, but now, the mere thought of it is sickening. She doesn't even drink the zapivka at church any more. I can cook with wine and that doesn't affect her, but its weird to pull out a bottle of wine and not have her begging for just a taste. She spends a day in bed being lightheaded and nauseous each month. She doesn't actually vomit then, but she is sick enough that she will have to stay home from school when this happens. Over the last month or so, she's vomited a lot. For her, at least, its a lot. I stayed home from church on Sunday twice in June because she was vomiting, or had vomited during the night. Last Sunday, she suddenly had to vomit at trapeza, barely made it to the ladies room, and then we quickly left. She vomited all the way home, and continued vomiting the rest of the day, and was nauseous on Monday and Tuesday as well. By Wednesday, 7/5, she felt better and was fine until yesterday, Sunday. Yesterday, she was fine until the evening when she vomited again. She doesn't have a fever with all of this. She and I eat almost exactly the same food, so its not food poisoning over and over. She might have some kind of food sensitivity or allergy, so I'm having her keep a food diary for a week or two. I think there may be a psycho-emotional layer to this, since whenever she gets really upset or stressed, she gets an upset stomach. But then again, last night she told me that she doesn't feel particularly stressed right now.
What I'm really worried about is whether the cancer is back or not. If its not stress and its not food allergies, then it must be something more serious. If not cancer, then maybe irritable bowel, Crohns, colitis, gastritis.... pancreatitis has nausea as a sign, I think. I can't remember what else --- its been a long time since I did medical transcription.
I'm worried about her health. I have to make an appt for her to get checked, but not until she gets a week or two of a food diary written down.There is definitely something wrong, though. I pray that its nothing serious, and especially that its not a recurrence of cancer. I'm scared.
My second major worry is that I won't find a job here in low-paying Savannah that pays enough for me to live. I really don't want to move and leave my cheerful little house and the support system I have here, but I would do it for the right job. The funding for my program is ending for sure at the end of August, and I've sent out about 15 resumes in response to known openings, without even a nibble. I'm starting to think about ways to become self employed at this time because well-paying middle-management positions in Savannah are pretty hard to find. I don't want to leave this area because we've been through too much upheaval in our lives as it is, but I would for the right job. I don't think my back will allow me to become a personal chef, so I'll have to figure out something else. I'm very worried.
Deep in my heart, I know that things will work out eventually, because they always do. But still, I'm worried. And I'm tired of always carrying the load. It would be so wonderful to have someone to help carry some of this, but that is not to be. I've never had anyone to help me, so why would someone come along right now? I'll get through this just like I've gotten through everything else - by putting one foot in front of the other and trying to do the right thing. I need prayer. I need to pray for myself. I never do that, but I should. I need to redouble my prayers for my daughter, too. I'm just, I don't know, I'm upset and worried about everything. At least my relationships with others seem to be ok and I don't have to spend my precious peace of mind on anything other than my daughter and my job search. *THAT* is a blessing!
See, there's always SOMETHING!
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