Homeschooling

I'm seriously going to put my 16 yodd in high school next year, for many reasons. Although all the reasons to continue homeschooling are still valid, I had to sit down and seriously consider why I am homeschooling her --- am I doing it for her, or for ME? When she was young, her best interests and my personal wishes intersected, and we both flourished with homeschooling. That was a very sweet time. Over the past couple of years, I haven't been so sure.... of course, a lot of things have happened, but even so, I have to admit some hard truths about our homeschooling:

1. I am not self disciplined enough to make sure that she does all her work, every day. Consistency in homeschooling is key, IMHO.

2. In the last two school years, she has accomplished about a half-year's worth of learning.

3. She needs more structure and oversight than I can possibly give her, especially since I have to work outside the home.

4. She has no one in her own age group to socialize with, no one who is at the same emotional, developmental or intellectual level as her, and no hope of meeting anyone at this time. Its nice that she is so close with a girl three years younger, but that age difference is beginning to make a big difference, as well as the difference in world view between the two families. Its much better that she is still very close with our former neighbor, who is the same age, and whose family is encouraging a good education.

5. Spending so much time alone, or within a very limited group of people, is giving her a skewed view of the world and her place in it - she is only 16 (on Sunday!) and does not know everything about everything. She is not the center of the universe. Granted, this is how most teens view themselves and the world, but for E, it is *enhanced* by not being challenged in her thinking by peers.

6. Spending so much time alone is feeding into melancholy and depression, and last fall, she began reaching out in ways that were not in her best interest.

7. Spending so much time with adults is making her think she is an adult, and should have all the rights and respect that an adult commands.

8. Spending so much time alone enhances her feelings of isolation, of being different, of not fitting in, of being a black sheep.

This is not a pretty picture. Last June, I decided to move into a really good school system so that I would at least feel that I had a choice regarding schooling for dd. We continued to homeschool this year, but it is not going well, for all the reasons I listed above.

So, she has come to the decision that she wants to go to school in the fall, and I'm going to let her. I think it will be good for her in general. That is not to say that there aren't negatives about going to school, but overall, I think she will be better served by having more structure in her life, and being forced to interact with children her own age, where she will be challenged academically AND by her peers. Truthfully, she needs to be taken down a peg or two by a peer.

Sometimes I read what other homeschooling mothers write online, and look at the homeschooling efforts of people that I know, and I wonder how the emphasis got moved from what is best for my child, to feeding my own ego. When did homeschooling become all about ME?

If you can look at the fruits of homeschooling your children and honestly say, yes, my child(ren) are on grade level mostly and are consistently learning and progressing in their studies, AND I have the self-discipline to oversee their schooling EVERY day to ensure that that they continue progressing, then there is no need to make any changes.

But if you can't honestly say that - if your homeschooling is sporadic, if your children are not progressing, if you cannot keep up with the homeschooling as well as all the other things mothers do - like cooking and housekeeping, if your children are not at or near grade level, then have a look at what other possibilities are out there that would serve your children well, and choose the one that is in the best interest of your child.

I couldn't, in all honesty, agree to both parts of that equation. Its been a bitter pill to swallow.

What I've learned over the last few months is that what *I* want to do (homeschooling), and what gives *ME* satisfaction (homeschooling) is not in the best interest of my *daughter* at this time. So, I'm going to stop fulfilling my needs at the expense of hers. Its hard, very hard, but necessary. And she is going to high school in the fall.

I guess I'm growing up.