Crazy World

Last weekend I was switching channels and came upon a reality show called "Surprise Wedding." The premise of this show is that half a dozen women who have been in long term relationships and want to marry their significant other are brought to Las Vegas for a week of makeovers, wedding shopping and all-around fun. They somehow get their SOs to meet them in Las Vegas - most of them told the hapless men that they were receiving an award of some sort. One by one, the men are brought out onto the stage, where the women are standing in wedding dresses, and in front of the screaming audience and many cameras, the women propose. The men are given a few minutes alone to consider the proposal, then they are brought out again and to give their answer. If they answer yes, a JP marries them immediately. If they say now, they are hustled off the stage while the wanna-be bride tearfully is escorted offstage to a kiss and cry area and is interviewed.

This was horrible. It was like watching someone pick their nose - its disgusting, but you can't take your eyes off it. What does it say about our American culture, that women would feel so desperate because they aren't married, that they would lie to the men they supposedly love, would humiliate and debase themselves?

What does it say about the state of America's spiritual underpinnings that women are so intent on marrying, that they would be willing to forego any mention of God and would get married without their loved ones around them?

What does it say about how we raise girls into women in our culture, that to be without a husband is so heinous that women prefer lying and the risk of public humiliation to remaining single?

What does it say about the self-worth of women who would do this? Who would beg on national TV to have a man marry her?

What does it say about the men in America today - that they spend an abnormally long adolescence, all the way to their mid 40s for many - and don't step up to the plate of male adulthood, thus forcing women to take over?

What does it say about the men who said no to the women they supposedly love, who wore their hearts on their sleeves and risked everything to marry them? Do these men understand the shame involved for these women - if they truly loved and valued them, they would never have put them in a position where the women felt they had to take matters into their own hands.

What does it say about the men who said yes and married on the spot - if you were wanting to marry this women, why didn't you do the right thing and spare both of you the humiliation?

On every level, I found this show horrific and deeply disturbing. It was like watching a train wreck. Its a sad commentary on life in America - that we would tune in to such a thing, that we would participate in such a thing.

This makes me so much prouder of my dear daughter, who recently ended a relationship with her first real boyfriend. She realized at 17, that TBF had planned out their lives in minute detail, and when he was unable to loosen up, she decided that she was too young to have no surprises left. She'd rather be single. Props to her! At almost 18 (her birtday in next week), she has learned that happiness and contentment come from within, that no one can own another, that sometimes (especially when young) the unknown future can be an exciting place, and the journey there a reward in and of itself. And most of all, that her happiness and worth as a human being has to do with her relationship with God, and does not require being part of a couple.

Props to her!